September 15, 2011

Should We Stay or Should We Go?

This past weekend was Chuseok here in Korea. Although people compare it to Thanksgiving in America, there aren't too many similarities besides families eating a big meal together. Chuseok celebrates the harvest, yes, but more importantly it is a time to honor your ancestors. Koreans dump out of the cities and head to their hometowns, usually the hometown of the husband's family. During the holiday, the women (with the wife of the eldest son in charge) cook for hours on end to make a feast fit for any king. In most living rooms around the country they set up an alter for their ancestors, with framed pictures, and give up offerings on a low lying table, including fruit, rice cakes, meat, sweets, etc. After a lot of bowing, families eat the feast and play a few games associated with Chuseok.

Of course, Matt and I were not doing any of this during our 4 day weekend. Last year we were lucky enough to travel to Jeju Island with my mom and aunt, which was awesome. This year we decided to relax, and didn't plan a single thing. Instead of bowing to ancestors or taking off on a trip to some far fetched island, we spent hours debating something we had never really discussed: the thought of leaving Korea early.

For a little more than 24 hours we had convinced ourselves to pack in the towel early. Why? I'm not quite sure how the discussion came up. Usually when I get a bout of homesickness I will halfheartedly  beg Matt for 5 to 10 minutes to let us go home early, despite knowing in my mind that we can't and that I really am fine.But this time it was different. For the past few weeks Matt has been experiencing homesickness, which he claims is the first real time he has felt such strong emotions. Because of this, a normal not so serious conversation turned into a huge intense day of listing pros and cons, figuring out our finances, and trying to talk each other in/out of it.

The truth is, is that the goals that Matt and I have had now for the past 8 months have almost nothing to do with Korea anymore. When we first came here, our goals were to experience a different culture, learn a new language, travel around the Asian continent, experience independence, etc. Now our goals focus on being at home, getting jobs, buying a house and having a family.For one day we convinced ourselves that going home early (in March) would help us attain our new goals, but in reality, we know this is not the case.

Why are we staying here a third year in the first place? To be frank, it's mostly for the money. Of course there are a few more things we'd like to experience while being here in Korea, but the biggest factor is money and the security that we have from having two steady incomes. With this year's bonus we can pay for our wedding, with next year's bonus we will be able to come home with a large amount of savings to get us off on the right foot. Without a third year, we wouldn't have that cushion of savings. We'd essentially come home with enough money for the wedding and not much else.

The last thing either of us want is to go back to America as if we had never left, with no savings, no jobs, no security, living in our parent's homes.

So the thought of going home early is now void. We are staying put, whether we're into it or not. Another year is a sacrifice we're making for a stable future when we go home. And besides, we really like Korea, we enjoy our jobs, and things are never that bad here. If we had been miserable, it might have swayed our decision a little more, but we're not. We just really want to be home, diving into the next chapter in our lives, but we can't.

Fortunately we have each other, and we know without a doubt that we'll be there for one another whenever we get a little down. We have 17 months left here, and we know how fast time really does fly. Making the best of it is our new goal, and we're aiming high, with lots of plans for travel around Korea.


Other goals this week include getting back into the REAL diet and exercise. I've been doing Turbo Fire off and on since coming back from Malaysia, but it's GO time now! Our fridge is stocked with veggies and meat, and recipes are marked on the calendar. We're ready to get back into a real routine!! :)









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