The Tao of Pooh

So yesterday I caught myself browsing through one of Matt and my favorite books, the Tao of Pooh, looking for possible readings for the wedding. I know, I know, it’s probably too early to be doing this, but give a girl a break. I only have 5 English language books here in Korea and sometimes I crave being able to read something without spending hours trying to decipher it.

I know that I want to incorporate a Buddhist reading or two in our wedding, along with readings from other faiths. In college I took a course on Buddhism and really fell in love with Thich Nhat Hanh’s books. There are so many passages relevant to love in relationship to the world that I found so refreshing and natural. Although I don’t have any of his books on hand, hopefully I can acquire a few before next August.

So yesterday I flipped open the Tao of Pooh and began reading at a random spot (which works well for this book). To my happiness, I came across this passage right away:

Those who do things by the Pooh Way find this sort of thing happening to them all the time. It’s hard to explain, except by example, but it works. Things just happen in the right way, at the right time. At least they do when you let them, when you work with the circumstances instead of saying “this isn’t supposed to be happening this way”, and trying hard to make it happen some other way. If you’re in tune with The Way Things Work, then they work the way they need to, no matter what you may think about it at the time. Later on, you can look back and say “Oh, now I understand. That had to happen so that those could happen, and those had to happen in order for this to happen..” then you realize that even if you’d tried to make it all turn out perfectly, you couldn’t have done better, and if you’d really tried, you could have made a mess of the whole thing.

I remember listening to Matt read that excerpt while we were cozied in a tent for two while hiking along the Appalachian Trail. I had brought the book for him when I met up with him in Northern Virginia as inspiration for his 2000 mile journey. We spent many a night in headlamp light reading from that book. I remember agreeing with Pooh’s words then, but the truth resounds within me now more than ever.

My life in the past 2.5 years has followed this path. Whether I wanted things to happen or not, they did. I couldn’t find a teaching job right after graduating. My ex-boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me. Matt’s ex-girlfriend of 3 years broke up with him. I found a job as a before and after care teacher to elementary students. I got back in touch with Matt. We fell back in love. Matt was laid off from his well paying analyst job after only 6 months. With his severance, his was able to hike the trail, a dream he’s had since childhood. Because I worked at a school I was able to join him, only to find out halfway through my hike that I no longer had a job to go back to. Desperate, we both went back to the grocery store where we had worked since 16. Matt finished the last few classes of his degree. Because we both had 4 year degrees, we could apply for teaching jobs in Korea. Because of Korea, we are incredibly happy, and can pay for our bills. Because of the low cost of living, we can travel on vacations and experience the world together. Over the next year we’ll be able to save and pay for our own wedding.

It’s amazing how things work out. If you told me 2.5 years ago that I would be able to pay my student loan bills, travel every 6 months and pay for a wedding, I would have never believed you. But it’s a reality now.

Of course every reality has positives and negatives. Although I lead a blessed life, there are still things that I have to sacrifice for all of this. Living in Korea is hard, especially for more than a year. A lot of people can perhaps deal with a year away from family and friends easily enough, but when you’ve made the decision to stay for a longer term, it becomes real. Things happen at home that we wish we could be there for. Time passes without seeing family, without playing with my dog, without enjoying a frozen custard on a hot summer’s day in Maine. You give things up to get things. Matt and I both know how fortunate we are, but we also never forget about our lives back home. 3 years is not a long time in the big scheme of life. We are content here, and we know that the sacrifices we make now will benefit us in the future.

Life is a game of give and take.

I hope it just keeps on giving :)