Putting it all into FOCCUS

After our pre-martial investigation "meeting" via Skype, our deacon sent us the FOCCUS forms to fill out. FOCCUS stands for "Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study". It is a 156 question survey that couples take separately. The results are then interpreted. The statements that you disagreed on will be the things the priest will talk about during the pre-maritial counseling session (which we're having when we arrive home in Maine).

Last night Matt skipped his nightly tae-kwon-do session and the two of us headed down to the river to fill out the survey. Subconsciously I found myself singing "As I went down to the river to pray" on the path down. Funny, eh? For those who know me though, I am always singing or humming, it's just funny how that song (from O Brother Where Art Thou) was in my head! I crack myself up sometimes :)

The sun was setting and we had just enough light to complete all of the questions.

 
 To give you an example, you read statements like "My partner and I have discussed  whether we want to have children or not". You simply answer either "YES" or "NO". You can also put "undecided" but our deacon advised us not to put too many of those since it skews the results significantly.

Over-all, it was a painless experience and we (for the most part) followed instructions and didn't consult with each other. There were a few giggles when we read aloud some interesting questions, but other than that we didn't talk about our answers.

Now we just have to scan them in and send them to our deacon. When we're home in less than 6 weeks (!) we will have a meeting with him to discuss the results.

I have a pretty good feeling that Matt and I are on the same page. We are extremely open with each other, talk ALL the time about our future, our finances, our goals, our expectations. Of course there will be a few disagreements on the survey, but that's normal.

It was a positive experience and glad to have one more thing checked off our list!