The Stress is Rising..

Looking at my calendar, I can't believe it's already May. I can't believe that Matt and I have already been engaged for almost 16 months, and that we only have a mere 3 months left until the wedding. While I am beyond excited, my stress levels are starting to rise! While I have a lot of things to get done between now and then, it is my personal wellness goal to sit back and reflect each night on how blessed I am, and how great it's going to be to marry Matt, the love of my life. This is important for me, because while I can't see myself doing this, I am very worried about transforming into the dreaded "Bridezilla".

Since the beginning of our engagement I knew that I wanted my wedding to be as stress-free as possible. Many people might think that in order to have a stress-free wedding you shouldn't go the extra mile for various projects, and while I agree to some extent, my mile-long project list is not what I meant when I envisioned stress-free wedding planning. I mostly meant I wanted the process, the traditions and expectations to be stress-free. I think up to this point it's been relatively smooth-sailing. I was very laid back about bridesmaids dresses and their responsibilities, letting them ultimately decide on their look. Instead of assigning various members of my family and friends to carry out projects for me, I created a list where people could sign up if they felt like it was something they wanted to do. At every point in the process I have had an open-minded approach, which has served me well thus far. It's not going to change anytime soon, but now that things are coming down to the wire, I am feeling stressed about everything falling into place.

Two nights ago I had my 4th wedding nightmare, the most realistic and involved one yet. In every dream nothing seems to go as planned. While I am not walking down the aisle naked, everything else is wrong. The flower lady doesn't show up, thinking she was booked for another wedding. Sarah, my maid of honor, quickly french braids my hair right before I walk down the aisle because for some reason I haven't even showered and no one thought to make an appointment. Nothing is set up, the tables don't have centerpieces or tablecloths. I am a wreck in this dream, crying my eyes out because half of guests don't show up, it's in a completely different location, and Matt is nowhere to be found. While it's just a dream it's scary waking up in a pool of sweat.

I am not sure if some of this stress is due to the fact that I'm in Korea and can't communicate face-to-face with those who are part of our wedding, or if I'd feel this way no matter where I was. Regardless, it's hard managing such conflicting emotions: anxiety and pure excitement.

Wish us luck as we start to pull everything together. This weekend Matt and I are staying home, locking the doors (not literally!) and finishing the invitations. Stay tuned for a sneak peek and some more wedding news!