Why did we leave it until now, the first week of July?! Purely for logistics. See, dealing with weddings and invitations in Korea is a little different than in the States. Here is how it's done (some of these steps are specific to being a teacher, or working in an office):
1. Go to a wedding venue, order hundreds and hundreds of invitations from one of the many templates they offer. (We're obviously not doing this, which is why our teachers are going to be pretty surprised when they see our hand made invites)
2. Schedule your wedding to be in the hometown of one of your parents. Now, this might sound inconvenient for not only your guests but also as a bride and groom, but let me remind you that Korea is the size of Maine. Unless you're getting married on Jeju Island, everyone can most likely reach your wedding destination within a few hours.
3. Send out/hand out invitations 2-3 weeks before the wedding (any earlier and people will forget). If you work in a big office or a school, you hand out a few invitations to the heads of each floor, and they post them on a board for all to see. Indirectly everyone is invited, whether you are handed an invite or not.
4. People don't RSVP, people just go.
5. If you work with the bride and groom, you are expected to give money. Only really close friends and family give gifts. If you attend the wedding, you bring the money with you. Someone (usually a cousin or relative), sits at the entrance to the wedding hall, collects the money, counts it, and marks it down in a book. If you can't attend the wedding (which is really bad form), you give your envelope (which has your name and the Chinese characters for "happy flower wedding" on it) to the head of your department. They in turn go to the wedding and give the money in your stead.
6. The majority of weddings are held at a wedding hall. Americans would call these types of weddings "cookie-cutter". You rent out a hall/floor of a wedding hall building, they supply everything (flowers, officiant, music, food, etc) and you basically just show up. A lot of the time there is a private, Korean ceremony with just the family before, and then a western-style wedding afterwards. Then afterwards everyone eats in a banquet hall, sometimes with guests from other weddings! This is how it's done here. Also-no reception, just food. There is no dancing or music or games or fun. Most weddings usually last around 2 hours.
7. Part of the money you are giving to the bride and groom goes towards your meal at the wedding. Some people are really "cheap" and they basically just pay for their family's meal costs (around 15 dollars a person). Most people, though, give money for the cost of food plus extra for the newlyweds.
8.You go on a honeymoon, usually for a week. Popular destinations include: Jeju Island, the Philippines, Thailand, Japan, Macau, Hong Kong, and Guam.
So that's how it's done! Any questions?! hehe
So one of the reasons why we've had some hold ups with the invites for our schools is because of the protocol. Koreans are VERY serious about saving face. This means that they will go through anything to save someone from being embarrassed , offended or put off. This also goes along with the communality of the society here, you must include everyone. Therefor, my co-teachers and vice principal talked long and hard about my wedding invitations and decided how many I needed to make in order to not offend anyone. Then they talked about the money issue. While I am TOTALLY FINE with not receiving money, it's Korean custom, and so it needs to be done, and done right. This means that each floor in the school will most likely round up money for me, and hand it to me at the necessary time. Who knows, all I know is that other people are handling this, and I just need to hand out the invitations, answer any questions people have (mainly, no, the wedding won't be in Korea, so very sorry!). That's it. My situation is very unique because one, I am foreigner, and two, my wedding isn't in Korea, which never happens here. But they seem to have figured everything out, so we're good to go today:
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